Q: Who do you want to shtup under the Xmas tree?
A: As Lucille Bluth would say, “I don’t understand the question, and I won’t respond to it.”
Q: What do you want your stocking stuffed with?
A: Chocolate and clementines usually do the trick.
Q: What song would you want Mrs. Claus to do a striptease to?
A: You Americans are weird.
Q: What’s one naughty thing you’ve done this year?
A: Answer these questions. It should never have come to this.
Q: What band would you put on your own “Naughty List”?
A: Winston’s guilty pleasure is blink-182, but, as we keep reminding him, it ain’t guilty if it’s harmony, and those motherhunkers can sing, y’all.
Q: What three albums would you gift to all your friends?
A: Bob Dylan - The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan (not enough people know this album backwards)
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Hysterical (because it’s freaking amazing)
Dawes - Nothing is Wrong (because it’s the future of rock ‘n’ roll and some of the best new musicianship in the world, in our humble opinion)
Q: What’s the best Christmas present you’ve ever received?
A: A bitching bike when I was 13. I mean this thing was unbelievable. But I found it on Christmas morning in our living room BEFORE we’d exchanged presents, and I’ve never got over the guilt. It’s what all of our songs are about.
Q: If you had to do a private concert for Santa, what song would you open with?
A: Mariah Carey - “All I Want for Christmas Is You” (to seduce him)
Q: Who do you want to smooch under the mistletoe?
A: What’s the difference between “smooching” and “shtuping”? You really must make these questions more accessible for British kids with real vocabulary.
Photo provided by @Rustedsigns. Thanks for sharing, Marcy!